Why I love being an adoptive dad #1

Coming home from work early to play with the kids.

A blanket, a baby, a two year old, and a roll in the front lawn.

Playing catch with Puppy for the first time using real baseball gloves.

Bouncing Firefly on my lap while she smiles and makes her "OH" face.

Sharing with FM all the wonderful things about her daughter.

Seeing FM sit on the floor with Firefly as they play and play and play.

A year ago, I met my daughter's birth mom..

So about a year ago I met Firefly's birthmom (FM). I remember walking into the room with Hero, nervous as hell. I had felt relaxed all the way there and the drive hadn't bothered me at all. But as soon as we arrived, when I realized that there was only a wooden door between us and our potentially future family member, my insides began turning cartwheels.

There's something about openness in adoption that makes me think of marriage. You get the spouse, but the inlaws are part of the package. With openness you are entrusted with a child to love and to raise, but you are also called, for the child's sake, to bring their parents into their circle of love and family as best and as real as you can.

When you commit to openness its a commitment to so much more than parenthood. Its a commitment to open your life to a whole new family. If our own families weren't as crazy and jacked up as they could be, here you are uniting with another clan, full of their own bumps and bruises.

Its crazy to think about it, but as I was getting ready to walk into that room, it was like meeting a person who would be vitally integral to my family's well being for a long time to come. Talk about pressure. I sure hoped we got off well.

I believe there is a window of opportunity when you just meet somebody. You can set the tone for the relationship you are going to have. You can be real, vulnerable, open and honest, or you can remain aloof and communicate that you are only willing to do the minimum. This belief also made me feel the intensity of the moment, as I knew we had an opportunity that I didn't want to let slip by. I wanted to establish some things that all of us would need down the road. No pressure.

The time went well, there were lots of tears, smiles, and hope for the future was there. Since Firefly has come home with us, we've been able to see FM about once a month, and we are driving out to see her this weekend. Firefly has grown and changed so much with each passing month it has been great to see FM interact with her at each stage and enjoy her beautiful changes.

One of the first times we went out to see her FM made a picture frame with butterflies and buttons, and the word DREAM. It has the cutest picture of the two of them in it, from Firefly's first month, and it sits at the end table next to her bed.

It means a lot to me that Firefly will know that from the beginning FM was alongside, an important and loving part of her life.

I need a Hero

So Hero has gone on a 3 day work trip, leaving me with full parenting duties. The night time ritual has taken twice as long, mornings are a quick banana and a jump in the car, and I've gotten to try my skill at managing Firefly's curls. I'm doing ok, I guess. But gosh I miss her.

There's something about being away from your partner, where you have to do it all, when you are reminded of how deeply dependent on that person you really all. I also don't know how single parents do it. Man, they have my utmost respect.

I hadn't made one day and we were having dinner at McDonalds. But I promise tomorrow I'm making spaghetti and a salad. I did get Puppy the apple dippers and had him eat a peach when we got home which he devoured. There is something about him and fruit, he loves it like I love fine microbrews.

Here is to our partners, the ones who keep us sane, the ones we love. May they always know how precious they are to us.