Reaching Out

Hey y'all, here's my once a year apology for being the lamest and most infrequent blogger you know....

Things have been crazy, I've been working my tail off taking on additional responsibilities at work, I just finished coaching football for a team of 15 year olds (we lost all 9 of our games but had a great time together) and I'm getting ready to coach a track and field team off high school boys and girls in a month, its going to be a blast. Through it all I've done my best to drop my work at 5pm and hurry home to spend the time that Puppy, Firefly and Hero deserve. I'm forever grateful for them.

In the adoption world, things are a bit foggy right now. Its been important to Hero and me that we put in the time and effort to establish real relationships with our children's birth parents now while we are in the beginning of their lives believing that it will pay big dividends to their healthy well being in the future. Our adult relationships with their birthparents will hopefully evolve into relationships that they can enjoy and thrive in as they grow up.

Unfortunately, it's just not always that easy. One of the birth parents, Firefly's birth dad, has been distant from the start, but recently has expressed an interest in time with her. I think he sees the relationship we've created with Firefly's birth mom and maybe feels that he's entitled to the same relationship right now. Now it is my hope that we can have a similar relationship with him, but unfortunately we don't, largely due to his choices so far.

So this month it is my goal to take the baby steps necessary to move our relationship with him in that positive open direction. I've tried calling him on his cell and I seem to be unable to get through, so now I'm going to send a postcard with my cell number on it. We'll see if it works. If all goes well and we have a good phone conversation, we plan to drive to his town and spend some time with him by the end of the month. This month Firefly turns two, oh my goodness.

I anticipate a whole lot of awkwardness and a real need for trust to be established. Here's to family not always being easy, but always being family. I'll keep you updated on what happens.

Tonight I will drink a tasty local microbrew in honor off all parents who work through those awkward moments and conversations for the love of their children. May your pursuit of openness bring you all a healthy sense of belonging and wholeness.