Why I love being a dad

So today I'm at work, and amidst playful banter one of my coworkers said "T can't do it, he'll be to busy playing with his kids..." I guess I'm nurturing a reputation as an involved dad, I'll take that as a compliment. But anyways, I'm a lame blogger, for reals, because I haven't posted since the 12th. I'm sorry, I just feel like I have nothing to say sometimes.

But I do love being a dad. Tonight, after a very energetic game of T-ball, Puppy and I went on a walk to see the tractor down the street. We stopped every 5 feet or so to pick up special rocks. They are the smooth ones. We saw cats, sticks, and brought home a pocketful of rocks that were carefully deposited in the sandbox in back. At one point he was sitting on the sidewalk, slowly un-velcroing one of his cargo pockets on his awesome little cargo pants so he could make sure he took all of his rocks home.

On the way back we held hands, well it was just him holding my finger, and inspected a couple of rock gardens that had large smooth rocks. Unfortunately, we had to leave those rocks there.

It was after dinner, it was slightly breezy outside, and it took us 30 minutes to walk 10 houses down the street and back. It was awesome.

I love being a dad.

My folks are comin' over for a visit

So in about an hour, my folks and my dad's mom are arriving for a 4 day visit. I'm excited, but nervous. Nervous, because they drive Hero crazy. Any one relate?

Last time they were here we started talking politics (big mistake) and as she began to get frustrated with my parents, she politely said "you know, for the sake of family harmony maybe we should change the topic of conversation," to which my dad ignored and went on a 15 minute explanation for why people don't warm up to Hillary Clinton. Yeah, lets hope for a better visit this time.

I just try to remember its all about the grandkids. BTW, Great Grandma T will be seeing Firefly for the first time, so maybe you all could pour one out for the multi-racial family harmony that we all hope for.

My freaky imagination

OK, so I'm curious if any of you are like me in this way. My problem is that mentally, sometimes I can't but play out the worst situations in my head with my kids. It freaks me out, and I kind of shut down for a while.

This week I heard on the radio a story about a family that had rented a vacation home, and before they had been there long, a 2 person light plane had a problem, crashed into the vacation home killing both on the plane, and the three children. I think their ages were 8, 10 and 13. First the story broke my heart. I feel so much for the family and I hope they have a strong community around them to support them through this terrible time. But then, I kept feeling or thinking about my own kids, and asking the question in my head, "Could that happen to us? Will that happen to us?"

For the next 3 days I couldn't help but be overcome by morbid thoughts of terrible things happening to my children and then trying to process all the emotions that it would bring. It's like the terrible thoughts just draw me in and I have no choice but to mentally play them out to their conclusion. I even imagine how I would explain the tragedy to their birth parents. Then I shake my head and try to realize its all in my imagination and I don't need to get bogged down by it.

When Puppy was a little less than one we were at the beach and he was in the water with Hero. A wave knocked him under and she reached in to grab him. Now he was only under water for a maximum of 2 to 3 seconds, but they were the worst 3 seconds of my life. I was so far away (probably only 20 meters) that I wasn't able to be an instant help, but by the time I was in the water he was shivering in his mom's arms and everything was cool. Still, I can't tell you how many times I replayed that situation in my head and imagined the worst. WHY DO I DO THIS? WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? Sorry about raising my voice, I just get so frustrated myself with these intensely morbid imaginations sometimes.

Well, I hope you all are more sound of mind than I am, but can anyone relate to this?